Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
