he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
