I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
