Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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