A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize