Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
