Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
