he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i believe in u and ur pee
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