i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
