Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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