She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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