considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
cat food counts as protein by the way
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
