she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
