he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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