She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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