I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
