Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Randomize
