i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
