your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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