i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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