She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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