why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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