Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
