I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
