I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
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