I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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