BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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