i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
