im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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