stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
