I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
