Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
