I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
