o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
