I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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