I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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