doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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