a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
