what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
