sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
