Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
