google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
