yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My liver just had a heart attack.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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