No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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