My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
