Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
