so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
