i just google imaged poop.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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