Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
