i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
