Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
