Welp...herpes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
