I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just had sex on a roof
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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