Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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