But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
