Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
