If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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