Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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